1.
Paint a vivid scene with your words
2.
Employ unusual metaphors
4.
Be poetic with your insults
5.
Use the language of the playground
7.
Throw in references to popular culture
8.
The more obscure the better
9.
Invent whole new words
10.
Convey a sense of horrified disbelief
12.
Understand the power of abstraction
13.
If anyone tries to censor you, humour them
14.
Take an existing phrase, and give it a twist
15.
Add a dash of the surreal
16.
But remember that sometimes the direct approach works best
17.
If in doubt, get Biblical
18.
Build to a resounding climax
19.
And generally exploit every opportunity to demean and belittle
20.
Just remember, Malcolm Tucker might like to swear at people, but he's NOT a bully
