Crusaders were dicks.
Posh people. Did you know Mitt Romney’s horse was in the London Olympics?
Everyone hated being in the Scouts. Stupid fucking neckties.
61. Amersfoort, Netherlands.
A place in the Netherlands that looks like it probably doesn’t have much weed.
57. Teutonic Knights.
Not the ones that are maybe the Illuminati, the other ones.
56. Beirut, Lebanon.
There’s an indie band called Beirut that is quite good.
55. Catalonia, Spain.
Messi’s not even from Barcelona, so what’s the fucking point, really?
Ancient home of the Templar Knights. Parts of World War Z filmed there.
49. London, England.
Greatest city in the world. Has more London Underground users than any other city. Smells faintly of urine at all times.
48. Gozo, Malta.
Name kind of looks like the symbols for Led Zep IV. Or a muppet.
Heath Ledger played one once (sort of). + 3 points.
42. Skin diseases.
I didn’t want to find a picture of skin diseases, so here’s a bunny instead.
Feudal role, slightly below Yeoman. According the only image of a husbandman on the internet, didn’t like storks, which makes this husbandman kind of a shit.
38. Saddle Makers.
George is patron saint of everything even slightly horse based. Fucking saddle makers? Why is that a thing?
Responsible for this shitbucket.
31. Modica, Sicily.
Principal products include olives, carobs, cereals and cattle.
30. Agricultural Workers.
One of many farm based professions on the list. Which is weird, because George wasn’t really a farmer.
24. Portugese Army.
Like the Bulgarian Army, but Portuguese.
23. Ptuj, Slovenia
Has a spring festival dedicated to the God of hedonism. Hence the fur.
Both Serbia and Montenegro claim George as Patron Saint. He has to support basically half of Europe come the European Championships.
20. Aragon, Spain.
Went really downhill after the 16th Century.
18. Lepers and leprosy.
Jesus liked lepers, and he was generally considered quite a good dude.
15. Portuguese Navy.
Boats. That are Portuguese. Often have guns.
14. Bavaria, Germany.
Good beer, good skirts, great lederhosen.
If Shepherd’s Pie was in this, it would have won.
11. Piran, Slovenia.
Adorable town. Also, the first town in former communist Europe to elect a black mayor.
Most soldiers will take all the help they can get.
7. Corinithians Football Team.
Not a great club. Used to have both Tevez and Paulhinio, alongside many other great players, but had to sell them all because the finances of football dictate that Corinthians can’t compete internationally, and need to sell their best players, condemning the club to never bring their league to the height and popularity of the European super-leagues. A further tragic reflection of the Euro-Centrism of globalisation.