24 Things Londoners Can’t Stop Talking About

There’s nowhere else like London. Thankfully.

1. The bizarre fact that there actually is a Zone 9.

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Especially when they meet someone who is actually from Zone 9.

2. How unbelievably pointless the Emirates Air Line is.

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Obviously, it is completely terrible, but everyone agrees. There is no one on the other side of this issue.

3. How they only use Tinder as a bit of a joke. Or maybe just an ego-boost.

 

4. How their last Tinder date went.

5. The weird and terrible smell that happens in the city once the sun comes out for a few days.

Basically, the bins and the urine start heating up.

6. The weird thing that happened on the night bus.

Bonus points if the anecdote ends with “I guess you had to be there.” Because everything is funnier when you’re drunk.

7. Whether the North or South of the river is actually better.

8. Commuting.

Most Londoners do not like commuting.

9. The pure, unadulterated joy of sitting at the front of the DLR.

10. Whether Uber is an amazing service that’s disrupting taxis, or an overpriced, less effective version of the black cab.

This opinion will change depending on the level of alcohol involved, and the number of black cabs around.

11. That this drink was really expensive.

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They are all expensive. Every time.

12. That they had a pint the other day that was less than £4!

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13. The amazing pop-up that they went to the other day, but that has closed now so you can’t go.

It’s not impossible they just hadn’t been there at all. They were drinking somewhere else, usually.

14. The coffee shop they just found that does the best ever coffee. Really, really amazing coffee.

There’s this special machine they use, and you really have to try it.

15. How they only came out for one drink.

But they can have one more. Definitely just one, though?

16. How they really shouldn’t be having shots.

17. Exactly which fast food place they went to last night instead of making dinner.

18. Exactly where the best burger in London is.

19. How literally no one in London will ever own a house because LOL money.

20. That flat hunting is a relentless torture designed to break you.

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While pretending to be a vaguely aspirational pursuit that could actually be enjoyed.

21. How ludicrously unpleasant shopping on Oxford Street is.

22. How their company needs them to work so, so late at the moment.

Really, it’s much later than you. You wouldn’t understand, it’s SO late.

23. How great it is to get out of the city for a bit.

24. How much better it is to get back to the city.

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