1. You judge people's life choices by how quickly they walk.
2. Anywhere outside of Zone 2 is too far to travel at the weekend. Or ever, really.
3. Nothing else in London can hold the same level of excitement as going up The Shard in order to piss over the entire city.
4. You're completely uninterested in whatever cool new thing is happening because something else will be happening a few days later.
5. You drink "craft" beer even though it has become a standard way to justify not getting change for a fiver.
6. You've started to think that paying double rent, for half the space, is a totally valid idea.
7. You've become numb to potentially awesome new developments because you know they won't be remotely affordable.
8. You are very used to how much more time you spend at work than at home.
9. There aren't many things that will still surprise you on South Bank.
10. You have worked out precisely where on the tube platform to catch the train to get off at the closest spot to the exit at the other end.
11. The minor worry that someone might talk to you on the tube has become an all-consuming terror.
12. Nothing can happen on the nightbus that you'll actually think is weird.
13. You don't even react to foxes any more.
14. You haven't even thought about getting a car for years, because driving in London just makes so little sense.
15. It feels like you have the same conversations, with the same people, in the same pubs every night.
16. The fact there are urinals on the street no longer even slightly bothers you.
17. You are permanently attached to your earphones, and now have started to mildly freak out if you hear things happening around you.
18. Leaving the city freaks you out because of all the fresh air, quiet, and green stuff.
For real, what is this stuff? It's freaking me out.
19. You've started to realise all the pubs are basically coming up with the same jokes for their signs.
20. You've completely stopped worrying about what day it is when deciding whether or not to go drinking.
21. At least one fast-food place knows you on sight when you show up at 2am.
22. You've started to become nostalgic for the previous wave of gentrification.
23. You've stopped talking to new people in bars, because Tinder.
24. And yet, while it sometimes feels like it might be a good idea to get out of the city...
You wouldn't actually ever move away from London.
