1. Daytime you is a responsible, productive adult. But late-night you is basically a whole different person.
2. Late-night you is the one who gets to bed and spends the first three hours counting exactly how many hours sleep you'd get if you fell asleep right this second.
3. Late-night you never knows when to turn Netflix off.
4. And will always binge-watch an entire TV series at 3am.
5. Every night, late-night you is way too happy to have just one more quick look at Facebook.
6. Or another scroll on Twitter.
7. Or a couple more likes on Instagram.
8. Late-night you will always just quickly read that one article that was missed by daytime you. And then another. And another.
9. Honestly, daytime you knows all the right strategies to get a good night's sleep, but does late-night you listen? FUCK NO.
10. And so daytime you has had to get very proficient at lying about exactly when you went to sleep.
11. Late-night you has very strong opinions about your life goals that only seem to make sense at midnight.
12. Late-night you will come up with a great new organisational system for everything you own, but never finish actually sorting it out.
13. Late-night you also sets very unrealistic goals for what you can actually achieve the next day, so daytime you has an ongoing sense of inadequacy.
14. Eating healthily is never a goal of late-night you, despite always deciding that food is necessary at 3am.
15. It's always late-night you that walks into the table and wakes the rest of the house up.
16. On the plus side, late-night you has made lots of friends in different time zones.
17. Late-night you also has ALL the great ideas. Doesn't pass them on to daytime you though.
18. And so somehow late-night you is much better at work.
19. Late-night you always wants to stay at the bar for another drink, just when everyone else knows you should be heading home.
20. And then daytime you has to deal with the exhaustion.
21. And the highly caffeinated morning routine.
22. Late-night you just has no consideration for daytime you.
23. But late-night you does have the most fun, since night is when everything interesting happens.
