2. “How did you manage at school?”
Not great. Made it a bit tricky, un-fucking-surprisingly.
3. “Can you actually read that?”
YES! Most of the time. Well, sometimes. I get the gist of it.
4. “What does that say?”
Something about chickens. Or possibly some sort of vegetable. Honestly, I’m not sure.
6. “It looks like a spider’s fallen in ink and crawled across the page.”
Great joke. It’s not like the word ‘spidery’ is always used to describe writing anyway.
7. “Have you tried this solution? It’s really effective.”
Years ago, but I’ve pretty much given up now.
8. “You should be a doctor with that handwriting!”
You really don’t want me giving you medical advice.
9. “You know, it’s supposed to be a sign of intelligence.”
So is being hairy, allegedly. Maybe it’s not true.
10. “Are you bad at sport as well?”
Come on, that’s not related. Though, actually, I am terrible at sport. But I’m sure it’s unrelated.
11. “Are you dyslexic?”
No, my fingers just don’t work properly.”
12. “Have you tried writing in cursive?”
It’s not better, honest.
13. “Have you tried writing in non-cursive?”
It doesn’t seem to work.
14. “Are you just writing in block capitals?”
IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS.
15. “Can you really write your signature like that?”
Yes, it’s a scrawl that in no way represents words, but is the same every time. A flawless solution.
16. “My writing used to look like that when I was a kid.”
So did mine. Still does.