How Passive-Aggressive Are You?

No, don’t bother to take this quiz, it’s fine.

  1. 1. What do you do to stop your roommates eating your food?
    1. Bring it up in conversation.
    2. Lick it all. Lick everything. But don’t tell them.
    3. Write your name on all your food, right down to individual yogurts.
    4. Start eating their food.
  2. 2. Someone is using your Wi-Fi instead of paying for their own. What do you do?
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    1. Get rid of it all together, and go live in the woods.
    2. Change the network name to “Not Your Wi-Fi” to drop them a hint.
    3. Let it go. Life’s too short.
    4. Keep changing the password so they can’t keep logging in.
  3. 3. A work colleague is failing to recycle. What do you do?
    1. Send the whole office an ALL-CAPS email, possibly with a picture of a cat in it.
    2. Casually bring it up in conversation.
    3. Leave a note.
    4. Leave a note, with a bad pun on it.
  4. 4. Someone in front of you at the cinema is rocking their chair back and forth, annoying you. How do you deal with it?
    1. Keep kicking the back of their seat until they get the message.
    2. Move seats.
    3. Ask them to stop.
    4. Kick them in the head.
  5. 5. Someone near you is chewing loudly. What do you do?
    1. Chew louder until they get the message.
    2. Nothing, but secretly start hating them.
    3. Send them an email that uses the word ‘sorry,’ multiple times.
    4. Throw things at them.
    5. Loudly play a YouTube video of someone chewing loudly.
    6. Ask them to be quieter.
  6. 6. If you encounter a passive-aggressive note, what do you do?
    1. Upload a photo of it to the internet.
    2. Leave another note on it, complaining about the passive-aggressive nature of the note.
    3. Tear it down.
    4. Do the exact opposite of whatever the note says.
  7. 7. If someone at work asks you to do something that you really don't want to do, what is your response?
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    1. Rage-quit your job.
    2. Clearly articulate why you’re not the best person for the job.
    3. Do it anyway.
    4. Do it, but very badly, so no one will ask you to do it again.
    5. Do it, but so, so slowly, eventually someone else will take over.
  8. 8. What would your ideal doormat say?
    1. Welcome!
    2. You again?
    3. Fuck off.
    4. So good to see you.
  9. 9. If someone didn't do the dishes, how would you deal with it?
    1. Leave a guilt-trip note.
    2. Just do the dishes.
    3. Give up, and start eating your eggs out of a shoe with a comb.
    4. Shamelessly re-purpose a Martin Luther King Jr. quote to become about household chores.
  10. 10. If you're in an argument, what's your go-to ending line?
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    1. “You know what, I think you’re right.”
    2. No line, you go straight for the silent treatment.
    3. “Fine, I don’t care.”

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