Response to 13 Things No One Ever Said:
I love reading the listicles on BuzzFeed. They’re so well-informed and well-written!
LOL. Is this supposed to be a joke? Is it a parody of how Buzz Feed “articles” and lists often tend to be mindless stupid, and written by the ignorant, the illiterate and the ageist? Or is it merely another ONE OF those very such articles? A before and after set showing a Blockbuster Video store that no longer exists due to video streaming technology is “incredible”? A photo showing a vacant lot and then the building now in that lot is “incredible”? A photo showing the scaffolding around St. Patrick’s Cathedral is “incredible”? And why do so many of the 7-year-old pictures exhibit such drab, dim lighting, yellowish tints? Why were so many of them taken on cloudy days, whereas the “now” photos were apparently taken on bright, sunny days with blue skies (which just a couple of exceptions)? Did somebody just event blue, cloudless skies within the past seven years? ROTFLMAO. Buzzfeed. Ya gotta love ‘em.
Some of these seem pretty cleaver. On the other hand, some seem questionable: **4. If you and another person want to tackle a pint of ice cream, split it the right way** And what exactly do I use that can cut through a frozen block of ice cream. I guess I could let it sit a few minutes to let it soften a bit, but even then, I’d have appreciated a mention in the text of what implement was used to cut it. Will a conventional knife do it without breaking, or do I need a table saw, or something? :-) **6. The right way to open a kiss** The right way requires three hands? Where do I get the third hand if I’m alone? :-) Hell, if I had a third hand, I wouldn’t NEED a kiss, I’d just give myself a handjob! :) **16. Wrap a wet paper towel around a drink and throw it in the freezer to cool it off quickly:** But long do you keep it in there? Another “hack” page said two minutes, but I tried it for way more than two minutes, and it had only a minimal effect. **19. How to cut bread the right way** Since when is the underside of break the soft part? If squishing is an issue, just cut it on its side, like I do. **20. No bowl? No problem** Gross. And stupid. That’s not a clever food hack, that’s a white trash food hack. **27. And, most importantly, how to make sure you always have a taco on the go** In other words, “Just put it in a bag”. How is this an idea? People already do this with tupperware, which makes more sense? What advantage does a bag hold? Is this for someone who just HAS to have tacos WHILE THEY’RE OUT WALKING? If that’s the case, your problem isn’t how to eat tacos, it’s that you’re a gluttonous freak who’s too impatient to get home to eat or stop at a fucking Taco Bell. And if you’re going to put it in a bag instead of Tupperware, doesn’t it make more sense to put in a Ziplock bag that can be closed and opened? Putting in an unclosable Doritos bag (which is also thin and easily ripped) is idiotic.
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