The 31 Stages Of Your Diet

You just want to lose 3 pounds.

1. It starts with a moment of realization, accompanied by horror.

Often in the form of a “fat mirror” or unflattering photo.

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2. Your new focus becomes that one (probably non-existent) lump of fat.

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3. You just hate it SO MUCH.

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4. But your workout regimen isn’t cutting it.

You can’t imagine why…

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5. And you find yourself snacking.


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6. Plus you don’t know much about dieting.

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7. Like, absolutely nothing.

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8. You turn to the heavens for help.

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9. And then to your friends.

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10. They act totally supportive.

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11. But then order dessert anyway.

How could they?!

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12. Which you obviously can’t resist.

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13. Sometimes your friends ask how it’s going.

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14. Which you take very personally.

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15. So you engage in some secret snacking.

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16. You figure you can just burn it off at the gym!

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That’s what cardio is for, right?

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17. Your hunger causes strange mood swings.

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18. You might overreact when your roommate orders pizza.

Just a teensy bit…

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19. No one understands why you’re grumpy all the time.

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20. You find “thinspiration” online.

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21. Breaking your diet feels like the end of the world.

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22. You refuse to be a slave to food.

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23. It’s much harder than you expected.

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24. Sometimes you consider giving up.

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25. But then a voice inside your head says otherwise.

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26. You do okay until you get drunk.

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27. Then you throw your inhibitions to the wind.

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28. Eventually it gets too hard.

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29. You realize you were overlooking some of the finer things in life.

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30. You’re happy the way you are!

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31. Well, until next time anyway…

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