67 Telltale Signs That You Went To Boarding School

There’s a reason you own so much argyle…

1. You still make your bed every morning, out of habit.

Because you had daily room inspection.

2. You’ve been addicted to coffee since you were 14.

3. You have an abundance of blazers and dress socks.

Because you were constantly reminded of the importance of “class dress.”

4. You’ve never had a snow day.

Regardless of the weather.

5. You’re totally comfortable with public speaking.

6. And can even recite Shakespeare on command.

7. Your most embarrassing memory is still your biology teacher walking in on you changing.

8. You still call the principal the “headmaster.”

9. Academic/residential buildings = “Halls”

10. Marks for misconduct = “Demerits”

And boy, do they add up…

11. School nurse = “Infirmary”

12. And the cafeteria = the “Dining Hall”

13. Speaking of, the comfort food you miss isn’t your mom’s secret recipe, but your dining hall’s.

14. Though they mainly served various kinds of chicken.

15. Which you ate at a table, family style, during “seated meals.”

16. With your (surprisingly crushworthy) teachers.

17. Who were also your coaches.

18. And lived on campus.

19. So you always knew when your favorite was on dorm duty.

Because the good ones brought cookies!

20. You checked the mailroom everyday.

Which is why getting mail still brightens your day.

21. You are all too familiar with the Harkness Method.

And the notorious Harkness table…

22. In fact, you’ve heard legends of students doing the deed on top of these intricate and sacred tables.

23. Because hookups were always in sketchy locations.

Nature trails, empty classrooms, the soccer field…

24. Which is why you were caught by your math teacher at least once.

25. You were closer to the faculty children at your school than to your own siblings.

You sure babysat them enough…

26. You got used to study hall.

Sometimes you even studied!

27. But you never stopped hating Saturday classes.

28. Weekend restriction was nothing like The Breakfast Club.

29. But expulsion was a fate worse than death.

30. Your internet cut off at approximately 8 p.m.

31. And on the off chance that it didn’t, everyone was like…

32. You didn’t have “electives,” so you never took phys ed.

33. Not that you needed to, with a required sport every season.

34. In addition to sports, you cultivated at least one bizarre or artistic activity during your high school career.

35. No one will ever understand the special bond you share with your high school roommate.

36. You had to sign out every time you left campus.

37. Proctors and prefects aren’t just from Harry Potter.

38. You contracted every ailment known to man at one point or another.

39. And probably remember the H1N1 epidemic of 2009 with great horror.

40. Though your worst fear was a lice outbreak on your hall.

41. You might not know the Cupid shuffle…

42. But you sure can shag!

43. You remain unfazed by communal bathrooms.

44. In fact, showering became a convivial activity among your peers.

45. Because modesty was a foreign concept in your high school dorm.

46. As was air conditioning.

47. You didn’t get your driver’s license until you were 18, or if you did, you never used it.

48. And you certainly never took driver’s ed.

49. You have friends from all over the world.

50. Which is why you’re all about group texts.

51. You took the honor code very seriously.

52. And you never locked your door.

53. But you always labeled your Diet Coke, because that stuff is like crack at boarding school.

54. Talk of a “Headmaster’s Holiday” elicited unmitigated joy among your peers.

55. You have yet to encounter a feud as serious as that between you and your rival school.

56. But that didn’t stop you from dating someone who went there.

57. Your senior thesis was 10 times harder than anything you ever did in college.

58. Everyday you had mandatory convocation or chapel.

59. But that’s not all your chapel was used for.

(See No. 23)

60. You knew the name, hometown, and college plans of everyone in your class.

Which consisted of roughly 75 people.

61. You appreciate the value of a chaperoned outing.

62. You still know the phone number to the main office by heart.

63. You are familiar with the term “Robo-tripping.”

64. No one else quite understands all your school’s honored traditions.

65. Your school had a water tower.

Which sometimes displayed important messages.

66. You always went to school dances, or “mixers.”

Which were actually really fun…

67. Dead Poets Society will forever hold a special place in your heart.

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