16 New Year’s Resolutions You Make And Break Every Year

Maybe this year you can hold out ‘til February?

1. Take up “clean eating”

ID: 2202205

Resolution: give up gluten.

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Reality: begrudgingly begin eating bagels for breakfast by February 1st. It’s practical, really…

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2. Get a flat stomach

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Resolution: do ab workouts every day.

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Reality: do ab workouts every day…for three days.

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3. Keep in touch with your parents

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Resolution: call them at least once a week.

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Reality: become annoyed if they don’t answer by the third ring. What if you actually needed something?

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4. Get enough sleep

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Resolution: don’t stay out past midnight on weeknights.

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Reality: you accept that that is never going to happen.

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5. Read more

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Resolution: finish a book every week.

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Reality: magazines count as books, right?

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6. Pick up a new hobby

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Resolution: take up photography.

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Reality: stick to iPhone selfies.

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7. Quit bad habits

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Resolution: stop one bad habit.

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Reality: pick up another in its place.

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8. Beat your caffeine addiction

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Resolution: replace coffee with tea.

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Reality: yeah, no.

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9. Find your passion in life

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Resolution: discover your true calling.

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Reality: your bed is calling.

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10. Save money

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Resolution: spend less money on takeout.

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Reality: spend the same amount at the drive-thru.

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11. Become one with nature

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Resolution: explore the great outdoors.

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Reality: you’ll go to a cookout this spring.

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12. Improve your flexibility

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Resolution: take up yoga.

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Reality: your body just doesn’t bend that way.

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13. Choose healthy snacks

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Resolution: eat more vegetables.

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Reality: eat more chocolate…because chocolate is salad.

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14. Meet the love of your life

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Resolution: finally find that one, special person.

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Reality: you’re pretty sure Ryan Gosling is that person.

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15. Learn to cook

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Resolution: prepare meals from scratch.

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Reality: Hot Pockets for the win!

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16. Become a social butterfly

ID: 2204029

Resolution: spend more time with your friends.

ID: 2204032

Reality: spend more time with your cats.

ID: 2204035

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