10 Reasons Peter Dinklage Kicks Ass

Emmy winner Peter Dinklage is cooler than you. Don’t worry, he’s cooler than all of us. Here are ten reasons he’s better than deep fried gold.

10.

Because he does what we’re all dying to do: slap Joffrey across the face. Who doesn’t want to do that? NOBODY, THAT’S WHO.

9.

Because he makes me want to visit someone in prison just to do this. Sidebar: he’s rocking that eyepatch puh-retty hard.

8.

Because he’s truly a fine actor. They don’t teach “sorry you just found out I’m your dead dad’s gay lover” face in drama school.

7.

Because he delivers lines like this so perfectly. See also: every line in Game of Thrones. Tyrion Lannister is my spirit animal.

6.

Because it’s gotta be crazy easy to get him drunk. “It comes in pints? I’m gettin’ one.” Peter Dinklage? More like Peter DRINKLAGE, amirite?! …guys? Is this thing on?

5.

Because he’s the D we’d all like to F. (C’mon. C’MON. You know what we mean. Use your imagination.)

4.

Because he was the best part of Death At A Funeral. Both of them. Sorry, Alan Tudyk.

3.

Because he knows how to work that Magnum PI stache. YOU GOT SWERVE, DINKLAGE.

2.

Because Brandon Bird painted him as Wolverine. No color commentary needed, folks. This painting is burdened with glorious purpose. And that purpose is to be impossibly awesome.

1.

Because he slapped Joffrey again. AND THEN HE GOT SASSY ABOUT IT.

That’s it. Game over. Dinklage, 10. Universe, 0.

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