27 Ways To Tell You’re Too Stoned

You really shouldn’t have smoked that whole joint by yourself.

1. Before it really kicks in, you make big plans to be productive…

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Which lasts about five minutes.

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2. Like you actually can’t get off the couch.

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3. Sleeping. Eating. Watching cartoons. This is your life now.

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4. Seriously, you can’t stop eating.

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5. Plus you make terrible dietary choices.

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6. You stop caring about pretty much everything.

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7. Except getting another bag of chips.

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8. And the quality of the weed you’re smoking.

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9. Nothing anyone says makes any sense.

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10. Because it takes about 20 minutes to process a simple thought.

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11. Meanwhile you stop making sense to anyone else.

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12. They can tell you’re stoned, and they’re JUDGING YOU.

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13. You think you’re being really profound, but you’re not.

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14. And everything becomes HILARIOUS.

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15. Like, so ridic funny. Like, you may never stop laughing.

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16. You’re easily entertained by the STUPIDEST things.

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17. And believe me, NO ONE ELSE is amused.

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18. Then you start to get really, really paranoid.

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19. Like you’re no longer sure you remember how to breathe.

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20. You don’t remember anything else either.

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21. You start to feel like you’re incapable of doing anything that ISN’T getting high.

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22. And, I mean, that’s kind of true.

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23. But you somehow convince yourself that marijuana is a performance enhancer.

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24. You forget how to behave sober.

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25. All the while you hope for some once-in-a-lifetime stoned experience.

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26. And instead you end up wasting hours on YouTube and staring off into space.

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27. But let’s face it, you were going to do that, anyway.

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