1. “Look at you!”
That’s not even a question. But yes, look at me! Isn’t it amazing that I’m here at the biggest awards show of the year after having been nominated for an award. What an enormous shock for all of us.
2. “Who are you wearing?”
I know this question is standard, but the phrasing is still inexcusably dumb. Prefacing it with, “I have to ask this” only makes things worse. Find a new less trite way to ask the question.
3. “What are your pre-show rituals?”
Stars — they’re just like us! That means that before going out they shower, eat, go to the bathroom, do completely boring human things. But by all means, fetishize the whole getting ready thing.
4. “Are you excited for tonight?”
Let me answer this for you: “Yes, but also nervous.” That is the only sane answer, and it is the one every single person on the red carpet will give you. I’m not sure what else you’re expecting.
5. “Are you surprised to be here?”
Again, there is only one way to answer this. I know we expect actors to be giant ego-bombs — and some of them are! — but they’ve been conditioned to never act too complacent about their success.
6. “Do you want to win?”
Yes. YES. Of course. No one doesn’t want to win. But because, once again, actors can’t say whatever’s on their minds, you’ll get the same bullshit “It’s an honor just to be nominated” response. Boring.
7. “Who are you most excited to meet?”
The only thing worse than this question is when the horrible red carpet people actually facilitate an awkward meeting. Just trust that everyone who wants to meet each other will do so at the parties, when there’s alcohol.
8. “How much fun was it to work with [insert name here]?”
He’s a true master of the craft. I learned so much from her. Blah, blah, blah. If these actors want to spill it all, they’re going to wait till they write their tell-alls. Right now it’s just meaningless fluff.
9. “Did you have a good time on set?”
Reporters always ask this question in interviews, as though an actor is suddenly going to reveal the hilarious on-set hijinks. (Incidentally, filming a movie is long and arduous. it’s work.)
10. “What do the Oscars mean to you?”
Yeah, yeah, everyone has some sweet story about watching with their parents or spending their careers obsessing over the gold statue, but the question itself is overdone and useless. Why ask it?