valentines

The 14 Best Passive-Aggressive Love Songs

Because nothing says I love you like reminding your partner of his shortcomings.

1. “My Funny Valentine” (from the musical “Babes in Arms”)

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“Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favorite work of art”

2. Billy Joel, “Just the Way You Are”

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“I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are”

3. “Bill” (from the musical “Show Boat”)

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“He can’t play golf or tennis or polo
Or sing a solo, or row
He isn’t half as handsome
As dozens of men that I know
He isn’t tall or straight or slim
And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim
And I can’t explain why he should be
Just the one, one man in the world for me”

4. Pavement, “Major Leagues”

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“Lip balm on watery clay
Relationships, hey, hey, hey
You kiss like a rock
But you know I need it anyway”

5. Deniece Williams, “Let’s Hear It For the Boy”

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“My baby, he don’t talk sweet
He ain’t got much to say
But he loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that he loves me anyway”

6. Lady Antebellum, “Need You Now”

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“It’s a quarter after one
I’m a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now”

7. “Funny Honey” (from the musical “Chicago”)

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“He ain’t no sheik, that’s no great physique
Lord knows, he ain’t got the smarts
But look at that soul, I tell you that whole
Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you’d agree”

8. Mary Wells, “My Guy”

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“No muscle bound man
Could take my hand from my guy
No handsome face
Could ever take the place of my guy
He may not be a movie star
But when it comes to being happy we are”

9. One Direction, “Little Things”

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“I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you’re perfect to me “

10. Prince, “Kiss”

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“U don’t have 2 be beautiful
2 turn me on”

11. Bruce Springsteen, “Thunder Road”

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“So you’re scared and you’re thinking
That maybe we ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith there’s magic in the night
You ain’t a beauty, but hey, you’re all right
Oh, and that’s all right with me”

12. The White Stripes, “You’re Pretty Good Looking (For a Girl)”

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“Lots of people in this world
But I wanna be your boy
To me that thought, it sounds so absurd
And I don’t wanna be your toy
Cuz you’re pretty good looking for a girl”

13. “Could I Leave You?” (from the musical “Follies”)

“Sweetheart, lover, could I recover?
Give up the joys I have known?
Not to fetch your pills again every day at five
Not to give those dinners for ten elderly men from the U.N.
How could I survive?”

14. Jamie Foxx, “Blame It”

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“Fill another cup up, feelin’ on your butt what
You don’t even care now, I was unaware
How fine you was before
My buzz set in, my buzz set in”

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