1. You get to sleep in a nice new bed, away from your annoying neighbors.
2. BUT you’re surrounded by strangers. And you can hear them doing it.
3. You have an exciting new view to admire.
4. BUT it’s only fun until you get homesick.
5. You can fantasize about all the celebrities who stayed there before you did.
6. BUT you’re mostly distracted worrying about who left those mysterious stains.
7. There’s a minibar stocked with snacks you’d never think to buy.
8. BUT you can easily spend all your money on stale crackers.
9. There’s someone to help you with EVERYTHING.
10. BUT that means you ALWAYS have to have tipping money on hand. You just never know!
11. You’ve got privacy to cuddle with your own special someone.
12. BUT you’re probably also cuddling with these guys.
13. Free toiletries that smell better than the boring stuff you’re used to.
14. BUT it all comes in impractical tiny bottles. There’s never enough.
15. You’ve got someplace safe to store all your stuff while you’re out and about.
16. BUT you can never totally shake that feeling that all your shit’s getting stolen.
17. You can make breakfast in bed a daily reality.
18. BUT you’re basically paying your life savings for waffles.
19. There’s a maid who always keeps things tidy.
20. BUT that maid is totally JUDGING YOU for your mess.
21. You get more privacy and security than you’d have at home.
22. BUT all the hotel employees could easily get a key and pop in whenever.
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