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Ranking Liz Lemon’s "30 Rock" Boyfriends

For a hapless loser, Liz Lemon has done pretty well in the guy department. Here’s a ranking of the men in her life.

7. Dennis Duffy

NBC

PROS:
- Always around (has been in every season of 30 Rock)
- Makes Liz laugh
- Calls himself the love of Liz’s life

CONS:
- Currently married with an adopted son named Black Dennis
- Calls Liz “dummy”
- Beeper King was a career high for him

6. Wesley Snipes

NBC

PROS:
- British (cool accent)
- Fun on Nitrous oxide, if not at any other point
- Very willing to settle

CONS:
- Hates Liz, and it’s mutual
- Mocks Liz’s past romantic failures
- Uses Britishisms that aren’t real (“sweeps” for spring cleaning)

5. Carol Burnett

NBC

PROS:
- He’s a pilot, which is the next best thing to being an astronaut
- Away often enough that Liz isn’t overwhelmed
- Shares a name with comedy legend Carol Burnett

CONS:
- Wants to commit more than Liz does
- Cries, and it’s very awkward
- Shares too many of Liz’s neuroses and quirks

4. Drew Baird

NBC

PROS:
- Freakishly attractive
- He’s a doctor (not a good one, but still)
- Jon fucking Hamm

CONS:
- Completely awful at literally everything he does
- Serious safety hazard to be around
- Hooks for hands

3. Criss Chros

NBC

PROS:
- Put a ring on it (he and Liz are married, with children!)
- Genuinely good-natured
- Sells his van to help Liz renovate her apartment

CONS:
- Not the brightest (sells his van to a “really nice young guy on meth”)
- Perpetually unemployed
- Loves trampolines, even though they’re death traps

2. Floyd DeBarber

NBC

PROS:
- Sends flowers to his girlfriends
- Looking to settle down with someone
- Gets along with Liz’s friends

CONS:
- Gets along too well with Jack, which compromises his time with Liz
- Can’t handle the fast-paced New York lifestyle
- Married to someone who isn’t Liz

1. Astronaut Mike Dexter

NBC

PROS:
- He’s an astronaut, which is the noblest and coolest profession
- Well-connected (also the king of Monaco)
- Will watch Dancing with the Stars

CONS:
- Fictional
- But really, that’s it!
- He’s perfect

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