1. Being a defensive driver means carrying multiple bananas on your person.
2. Every other driver on the road is your enemy.
5. Don’t drive the wrong way unless you want a finger wagged in your face.
6. Most spin-outs are caused by bananas left in the road.
7. Seatbelts just make it harder to jump up and down in your seat when you’re celebrating.
8. It’s OK to stand up in a car when greeting fans.
9. Increase your speed by doing flips in the air.
12. Avoid freak electrical storms, the leading cause of being tiny.
14. Most mysterious caves will get you where you’re going.
17. Accept that you’re going to die at least once.
- Planned Parenthood officials said they believed Friday's shooting at a Colorado Springs clinic was motivated by opposition to abortion. ›
- World leaders will meet in Paris starting Monday to discuss a potential global climate change agreement. ›
- "Victor Frankenstein" joined the ranks of 2015 films that opened in more than 2,000 North American theaters, but earned less than $4 million on opening weekend. ›