18 Pieces Of Practical Driving Advice From “Mario Kart”

Follow these tried and true tips to be the best driver on the road.

1. Being a defensive driver means carrying multiple bananas on your person.

2. Every other driver on the road is your enemy.

3. Tailgate constantly.

4. Leave a path of destruction in your wake.

5. Don’t drive the wrong way unless you want a finger wagged in your face.

6. Most spin-outs are caused by bananas left in the road.

7. Seatbelts just make it harder to jump up and down in your seat when you’re celebrating.

8. It’s OK to stand up in a car when greeting fans.

9. Increase your speed by doing flips in the air.

10. Ice is less slippery if you’re fat.

12. Avoid freak electrical storms, the leading cause of being tiny.

13. Take big risks when it comes to shortcuts.

14. Most mysterious caves will get you where you’re going.

15. Gorges were made to be jumped.

16. You can probably beat the train.

17. Accept that you’re going to die at least once.

18. Drive like there’s always a blue shell on your tail, because chances are, there is.

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