1. When Warlow entered through a portal.
On the bridge where he murdered Sookie and Jason’s parents, no less.
2. When “Warlow” turned out to be Niall, Jason, and Sookie’s faerie grandfather.
But we actually knew that last week.
3. When Eric dug the magic bullet out of Tara.
Turns out cops are now equipped with vampire-specific silver bullets that emit UV light, because OF COURSE THEY ARE.
4. When Bill started feeling the pain of all vampires.
Which meant experiencing vampire hate crimes. And then slipping into a totally inconvenient catatonic state.
5. When yet another hottie showed up as a potential love interest for Sookie.
Oh, and Ben is fae, too. I guess that’s sort of important.
6. When Bill telepathically drained a hooker.
First he broke a bunch of her bones, which GROSS. If we’re still supposed to sympathize with this guy, True Blood isn’t doing a great job.
7. When Eric donned a Clark Kent disguise.
So precious. This is way better than the entirety of Man of Steel.
8. When he couldn’t glamour Governor Burrell.
Because MAGIC CONTACTS, that’s why.
9. When we learned that Sookie is a faerie princess.
Look, I don’t write this stuff. Don’t shoot the messenger.
10. When Niall explained Sookie’s secret power.
Apparently she can obliterate all the vampires around her with a supernova of faerie light, but she’ll become a full-blown human after that. Can’t wait to see this deus ex machina in action!
11. When the werewolves kidnapped Emma.
Having a kid around is a total cockblock to your hot were threesomes, Alcide.
12. When Eric showed up at Governor Burrell’s daughter’s window.
And you were like, “DAMN IT, why couldn’t that be MY window?”
13. When Bill and Jessica realized he could see the future.
And then Bill was like, “I can see the future,” because he’s a little dense and needs to repeat things sometimes.
14. When Bill saw a very dark fate for vampires.
The short version: “They’re all gonna burn.”