1. When Billith went on his rampage.
He’s just so scary and … gross.
2. When Luna died.
Well, that was fast.
3. When Bill flew up into the air.
Conclusion: Billith is RIDICULOUS.
4. When the governor said he was going to shut down all vampire-owned businesses.
And when you realized that included Fangtasia. Oh, and he’s instituting a vampire curfew — like that’ll stick.
5. When Tara confronted a crying Pam.
And then they had sex. Yes, they totally did. Tara was zipping up her pants in the next scene, and Pam later confirmed it.
6. When Jason had a gun on Sookie and said she was dead to him.
On the one hand, bummer. On the other, Jason is a total asshole now. She’s better off.
7. When Bill summoned Jessica and she started vomiting blood.
And then her heart nearly exploded. Guess that’s what happens when you try to ignore Billith.
8. When Alcide ate the arm.
UGH. This is like the one time I don’t want to make out with Alcide.
9. When Rutger Hauer showed up.
10. When Sookie staked Bill.
And then Bill PULLED THE STAKE OUT. Total Billith move. Guess he can’t be killed that way, which is comforting.
11. When Alcide had a hot werewolf threesome.
Best line: “I’m your number one bitch. Don’t ever forget it.” Noted!
12. When Sookie rescinded Eric’s invitation to her home.
BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. Sigh. Crying bloody tears over here.
13. When Andy’s faerie children grew up VERY quickly.
And then giggled. CREEPY.
14. When the mysterious stranger revealed himself to be Warlow.
Or is he? Rutger Hauer is credited as Niall. Hmm.
15. When Lilith entered Bill’s body from three different directions.
I thought she was already inside him. Have we been calling him “Billith” for nothing? Also, why are there three of her?
Next week on True Blood…
Not really. But we can dream!