How To Survive A Slasher Film, As Told By The "Friday The 13th" Franchise

So you’re in a cabin on Friday the 13th, and you’re pretty sure you’re about to be brutally slaughtered. Here are some helpful tips to staying alive. WARNING: Gore ahead.

1. Listen to the crazy old man when he offers his cryptic warning. He’s probably onto something.

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2. Seek shelter from the storm.

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3. Never stand in front of the window.

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4. Do not hang out in graveyards.

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5. Keep an eye out for machetes.

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8. Just watch your eyes in general.

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9. Maybe you should just wear safety goggles.

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10. Relatedly, don’t lose your head.

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11. Seriously, what did I tell you about windows?

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12. Doors, too. They’re just bigger windows, really.

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13. Always keep your pitchfork pointed forward.

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14. And upgrade to a chainsaw if you can.

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15. Do not attempt to defend yourself with a shovel.

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16. Remember that the killer’s never really dead.

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19. Keep in mind anything can be a weapon.

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20. The kills will get more creative, and so should you.

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21. But don’t introduce another monster into the picture. It never ends well.

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22. Again with this window shit.

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23. Don’t relax in a hammock.

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24. Or a bed.

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26. Sleeping bags are a particularly bad idea.

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27. Make sure your last words aren’t too embarrassing.

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28. Don’t waste time stating the obvious.

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29. Or getting a snack.

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31. If you’re still standing in front of a window, you basically deserve to die.

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32. And when all else fails, pretend to be his mom. Works every time.

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