How To Survive A Slasher Film, As Told By The "Friday The 13th" Franchise

So you’re in a cabin on Friday the 13th, and you’re pretty sure you’re about to be brutally slaughtered. Here are some helpful tips to staying alive. WARNING: Gore ahead.

1. Listen to the crazy old man when he offers his cryptic warning. He’s probably onto something.

2. Seek shelter from the storm.

3. Never stand in front of the window.

4. Do not hang out in graveyards.

5. Keep an eye out for machetes.

8. Just watch your eyes in general.

9. Maybe you should just wear safety goggles.

10. Relatedly, don’t lose your head.

11. Seriously, what did I tell you about windows?

12. Doors, too. They’re just bigger windows, really.

13. Always keep your pitchfork pointed forward.

14. And upgrade to a chainsaw if you can.

15. Do not attempt to defend yourself with a shovel.

16. Remember that the killer’s never really dead.

19. Keep in mind anything can be a weapon.

20. The kills will get more creative, and so should you.

 

21. But don’t introduce another monster into the picture. It never ends well.

22. Again with this window shit.

23. Don’t relax in a hammock.

27. Make sure your last words aren’t too embarrassing.

28. Don’t waste time stating the obvious.

31. If you’re still standing in front of a window, you basically deserve to die.

32. And when all else fails, pretend to be his mom. Works every time.

 

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