How To Make A Sofia Coppola Movie

You’ll need a vapid lead and lots of existential angst. Oh, and a bed.

1. Start with a seemingly vapid lead.

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2. But remember that she’s actually just misunderstood.

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3. Make sure she’s lost and confused.

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4. And having an existential crisis.

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5. Because she’s trying to keep up with society’s impossible demands.

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6. Or adjusting to a new identity.

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7. Or faced with responsibilities she can’t handle.

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8. Whatever the case may be, she’s trapped.

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9. The main character should spend a lot of time in bed.

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10. Because bed is a safe space.

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11. And also she’s kind of lazy.

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12. Plus, beds can be shared. The possibilities are endless, really.

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13. Maybe she doesn’t even need a bed.

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14. Criticize opulence.

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15. And celebrity culture.

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16. And excess.

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17. But also: embrace opulence.

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18. And celebrity culture.

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19. And excess.

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20. Tease an emotional core.

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21. But always focus on style over substance.

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22. The movie should look like a really well made music video.

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23. Like the best music video you can imagine.

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24. Poetic visuals go a long way.

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25. Distract the audience with bright lights.

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29. Use a modern pop score no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

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30. In the end, no one will mind if it feels a little vapid.

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31. Remember, you don’t really have to SAY anything.

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32. You just have to pretend.

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