1. This is not how you communicate with authority figures.
Or anyone, really. Middle fingers are rude.
2. This is not how you drink champagne.
You’re making a mess, and no one’s thirst is being satisfied.
3. This is not proper courtroom decorum.
4. This is not how you get your way.
I mean, fake tears work, but that’s very juvenile.
5. This is not how you wear a shirt.
Use the buttons!
6. This is not how you kiss a family member.
Spoiler alert: they are related.
7. This is not how you dress for a charity car wash.
It is very distracting.
8. This is not appropriate conflict resolution.
When in doubt, talk it out.
9. This is not how you earn someone’s trust.
Always remember: personal space.
10. This is not how you encourage two people to kiss.
Violently smushing their heads together is only OK when you’re playing with Barbies.
11. This is not a fun way to look cool.
Smoking isn’t sexy — it’s deadly.
12. This is not how you answer the phone.
One person at a time, please. Or use speaker phone.
13. This is not a decent way to greet a platonic friend.
They’re called “private parts” for a reason.
14. This is not how you get sympathy from others.
If you’re going to wear a neck brace, make sure your neck is actually broken.
15. This is not OK pool behavior.
Keep your hands to yourself. Other people have to swim there, you know.
16. This is not how you cement the student-teacher relationship.
Probably don’t do coke at all, just to be on the safe side.
17. This is not a toy.
But it is an awesome weapon for revenge. Sorry, teens, you can’t always play by the rules.
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