22 Signs You Were Raised By Stephen Sondheim

I am nothing — you are wind and water and sky, Sondheim.

1. You scoff at simple harmonies.

ID: 1988647

2. And easy lyrics.

ID: 1988656

3. The harder, the better. ART ISN’T EASY.

ID: 1989049

4. You’ve listened to “Losing My Mind” on repeat after a breakup.

ID: 1988785

5. But you knew it wasn’t going to work, because you listened to “Could I Leave You?” before the breakup.

ID: 1988971

6. You overidentify with Bobby from Company.

ID: 1988662

7. I mean, is it any wonder you’re a little terrified of commitment?

ID: 1988899

8. Your knowledge of art history comes mostly from Sunday in the Park With George.

ID: 1988880

9. You know more about former presidential assassins than former presidents.

ID: 1988672

10. And you’re weirdly sympathetic toward John Hinckley.

ID: 1988701

11. The fairy tales you grew up with didn’t always have happy endings.

ID: 1988820

12. Also, the Witch was right.

ID: 1988852

13. Speaking of, you’re dreading the Into the Woods movie. But you also can’t wait to see it.

ID: 1988995

14. You’ve been burned in the past.

ID: 1989003

15. You’ve always been a little distrustful of meat pies.

ID: 1988715

16. You know “Sooner or Later” is a Sondheim song, not a Madonna song.

ID: 1988841

17. You have accepted Bernadette Peters as your personal lord and savior.

ID: 1988720

18. Unless you’re a Patti. Which is valid.

ID: 1988732

19. You’re also an Elaine Stritch purist. Or you should be.

ID: 1988926

20. Incidentally, nothing pisses you off more than when people only know Mandy Patinkin from Homeland.

ID: 1988737

21. The hardest you’ve ever cried is at “Sunday” from the Sondheim birthday concert in 2010.

ID: 1988862

22. And while you know Sondheim can’t live forever — perish the thought — you also know he’s not going anywhere.

ID: 1988916

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