16 Truly Terrible Beatles Covers

There are many great covers of Beatles songs: these are not them.

1. Sean Connery, “In My Life”

On the plus side, he’s not trying to sing. On the minus side, literally everything else.

ID: 1009143

2. Mrs. Miller, “Yellow Submarine”

Mrs. Miller has a few unbearably shrill Beatles covers, but this one might be the worst. Tough competition!

ID: 1009145

3. Xaviera Hollander, “Michelle”

If you want to listen to “The Happy Hooker” feign an orgasm while singing a Beatles song, this is the cover for you.

ID: 1009148

4. Bill Cosby, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”

The first time I heard this I thought it was someone doing a Bill Cosby impression. If only that were the case.

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5. Keith Moon, “When I’m Sixty-Four”

Sad given his untimely death. Also sad because it’s terrible.

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6. Wing, “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”

It’s hard to fault Wing for doing what she loves, despite a clear lack of talent. It’s also hard to listen to Wing.

ID: 1009154

7. Mae West, “Day Tripper”

At some point, someone thought this was a good idea. If you’re a true glutton for punishment, follow this up with her cover of “Twist and Shout.”

ID: 1009155

8. George Burns, “Fixing a Hole”

From the godawful Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie. There’s a reason we don’t remember George Burns for his singing voice.

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9. Steve Martin, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”

From the same movie. Steve Martin can sing — see Little Shop of Horrors for evidence — but that didn’t seem to help much here.

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10. William Shatner, “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”

More spoken word weirdness, this time from William Shatner’s infamous debut album. Does he do parties?

ID: 1009162

11. Alvin & The Chipmunks, “A Hard Day’s Night”

It’s kind of cute, I guess. I’m more wondering what a hard day’s night entails for an anthropomorphic chipmunk.

ID: 1009164

12. Tiny Tim, “Nowhere Man”

True Tiny Tim fans might dig this cover. Everyone else should cover their ears.

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13. Kylie Minogue, “Help”

Sorry, Kylie. Whatever you were trying to do here needed more than a little help to avoid becoming this embarrassment.

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14. Elmer Fudd, “The Fool on the Hil”

Don’t ask me why there’s an album of the Looney Tunes singing the Beatles. I will say this is the most sympathy I’ve ever felt for Elmer Fudd.

ID: 1009175

15. Eddie Izzard, “Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite”

Sorry, haters: I actually love Across the Universe. It’s a mess, but it’s a fun mess. Except for this song, which is just a mess mess.

ID: 1009177

16. Bing Crosby, “Hey Jude”

Hey Bing, don’t make it bad. Oh, crap, too late.

ID: 1009182

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