10 Things You Absolutely DO NOT Want To Hear At Your Harvard Reunion

At the most competitive school in the world, there is a mounting sense of dread at reunion time that former classmates will flippantly remark…

1. I’m sorry I keep checking my phone. I’m expecting a call from Barack.

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2. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is dating a super-model.

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3. Yeah, but there are surprising challenges to owning an island.

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4. After I was interviewed in the Forbes “The World’s Youngest Billionaires” story…

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5. I was really pissed when I didn’t win that second Nobel Prize.

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6. We were going to be here earlier, but our private Boeing 747-81 VIP jet had an engine problem.

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7. I know…who would have thought I would be the one to cure cancer!

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8. Well I guess if you donate as much money to Harvard as I, you can get a library named after you, too.

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9. The view from the moon really is incredible.

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10. Oh come one now, all the press comparing me to Einstein and Stephen Hawking is just a tad overblown.

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