1. I’m sorry I keep checking my phone. I’m expecting a call from Barack.
2. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is dating a super-model.
3. Yeah, but there are surprising challenges to owning an island.
4. After I was interviewed in the Forbes “The World’s Youngest Billionaires” story…
5. I was really pissed when I didn’t win that second Nobel Prize.
6. We were going to be here earlier, but our private Boeing 747-81 VIP jet had an engine problem.
7. I know…who would have thought I would be the one to cure cancer!
8. Well I guess if you donate as much money to Harvard as I, you can get a library named after you, too.
In The News Today
- A Kentucky clerk continues to defy the Supreme Court by denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples. ›
- Stocks all over the world are falling again following the release of more data indicating a weakening of China's economy. ›
- The main suspect in last month's bombing of Bangkok's Erawan shrine has been arrested, Thailand's prime minister says. ›