10 Things You Absolutely DO NOT Want To Hear At Your Harvard Reunion

At the most competitive school in the world, there is a mounting sense of dread at reunion time that former classmates will flippantly remark…

1. I’m sorry I keep checking my phone. I’m expecting a call from Barack.

2. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is dating a super-model.

3. Yeah, but there are surprising challenges to owning an island.

4. After I was interviewed in the Forbes “The World’s Youngest Billionaires” story…

5. I was really pissed when I didn’t win that second Nobel Prize.

6. We were going to be here earlier, but our private Boeing 747-81 VIP jet had an engine problem.

7. I know…who would have thought I would be the one to cure cancer!

8. Well I guess if you donate as much money to Harvard as I, you can get a library named after you, too.

9. The view from the moon really is incredible.

10. Oh come one now, all the press comparing me to Einstein and Stephen Hawking is just a tad overblown.

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