10 Ways Your Parents Betrayed You

Thanks a bunch, mum and dad

1. They didn't let you work them judges

2. They killed your ambitions stone dead

3. They did not demand that you won an Olympic medal to earn their approval

4. For you, Dior was always closed

5. They left the job of pushing you academically to your teachers

6. You were deprived of the opportunity of becoming your family's main breadwinner at the age of 12

7. And why didn't they arrange for you to perform at the Laugh Factory?

8. Your weekends were not spent travelling around the country for competitions

9. You were only allowed sugary foods in moderation

10. You never felt the visceral thrill of winning a national spelling bee