Liz D.
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Watch Out Kanye, Chelsea Handler is Hosting VMAs
Kanye West will be swimming in snark infested waters at the Nokia Theater when Chelsea Handler hosts the 27th annual Video Music Awards next month. Good thing West has his leather pants collection*- he's going to need to suit up to protect himself from all the barbs Handler will surely throw his way.
New Product: Fangtastik® “True Blood” Stain Remover Sucks Blood Off Fabrics
Fangtastik® with Vampire Power sucks blood off fabrics and brings clothes back to life. Now Sookie Stackhouse no longer has to worry about replacing her blood soaked clothes on a waitress’s salary.
Pour Some (Stolen) Sugar On Me
On Mother's Day Yoga Poseur realized she comes from a family of sugar-substitute thieves. What does swiping all-natural packets compared to Grandma's artificial Sweet 'n Low booty say about you? Take the sweetener quiz and find out.
“Face Down, Ass Up:” American Apparel Gets in Downward Dog
Flaunting a tight ass in a yoga pose is the way to sell American Apparel spandex to the masses. Too bad the model's hamstrings are so tight that she can't even do a good downward dog.
Gisele Bundchen Does Unidentified Yoga Pose in Vogue
Yoga Poseur analyzes the supermodel's yoga pose in the April issue of Vogue and asks, "did Gisele forsake her Anusara practice to please Anna Wintour by opening up to the side and showing more of her body in the ivory Bottega Veneta cotton-crepe jumpsuit?"
Arrested? Yoga For Perps
Arrested? Don't stress, do yoga. Yogaposeur.com illustrates how to achieve a peaceful perp walk and gives wise words to ponder if you're on the way to the clink.
The Best and Worst 2010 Oscar Dresses for Going to the Bathroom
At over three hours long, the Academy Awards are a threat to the urinary tract health of all Hollywood’s A-list actresses. With consideration to the kidneys and urethras of today’s biggest stars, Heeb rates the best and worst 2010 Oscar dresses for going to the bathroom.
Baby Preacher Falls Victim to Mash-up Artistry.
The proselytizing tot is a natural for both totalitarianism & death metal. The clips speak for themselves.
Bubble Wrap Turns 50
Virtual pop on the Bubble Wrap game isn't as satisfying as the real thing, but it will still annoy your co-workers. Get popping!
U.S. Soldiers Hunt for “Jew Gold”
After analysis of this video, Heeb Magazine found that the U.S. soldiers roughing up this token kosher kid in the desert were motivated by South Park's "Jew Gold" episode rather than anti-semitism. After all if Eric Cartman says all Jews wear gold around their neck in a small pouch, then it must be true.
Ghostbusters 3 Cast Predictions
After talking to Harold Ramis about getting some new young Ghostbusters, here's how Heeb Magazine imagines the cast of the slimy threequel. (Craig Robinson? Really, what about the midget from Bad Santa?)
The Man Behind The Epic Phantom Menace Review
Heeb Magazine has been so obsessed with the 70-minute review of The Phantom Menace that they reached out to the critic himself, Milwaukee-native Mike Stoklasa.
Top Ten Explanations for the Disappearance of the Auschwitz Sign
6. Repo man finally collecting on 68-year old unpaid bill for sign. 7. Mel Gibson, convinced that without the sign, the whole edifice of the "Holohoax" will collapse.
Avatar Review: "I Wasn’t Bored for One Second."
Moshe Kasher, iTunes Best New Comedian of 2009, reviews Avatar... was a lot like Burning Man. Cheesy in parts and filled with naked blue people wearing extensions...I ejaculated blue nerd cum for three hours straight. I came in Real 3D.
Baby Jesus Pinata
Make your holiday party a smash with The Baby Jesus Pinata!
Urban Kvetch: Bragging About Your Health
Now that it’s cold season, please don’t explain how you were "starting to get sick, but fought it off." You fought it off? Do you have so few accomplishments that you need to take credit for your God-given immune system?
Roseanne Barr Dresses As Hitler... AGAIN
This time Roseanne plays both Hitler and an all-American asskicker named "Sarge" in her son's mash up parody of The History Channel’s Heroes Under Fire. Watch the videos.
Guss' Pickles Ad Campaign Goes Low
I hear they also have a salty aftertaste.
Coming Soon from the Planet Hoth: The Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
QA with ThinkGeek - online store known for selling replicas of the Flux Capacitor from Back to the Future, Jedi robes and this holiday season’s most highly anticipated gift item..
Stuff Hipsters Hate: Poseurs
Did you hear that that dude from Look at this Fucking Hipster is having a freaking photo shoot today? He’s, like, shooting pictures for his book ‘cause he doesn’t have the rights for the ones on his site.