1. “Welp, we are literally five minutes into this and I already know that this was a terrible mistake. Wheee!”
5. “… I’m sorry, did you just make a weird joke about getting married? TO ME? AFTER TALKING FOR THIRTY MINUTES?”
8. “Uh, I feel like I need to do some fact-checking on some of the crap that’s spewing forth from your mouth right now.”
Here Are The Top Stories
- Greece won't pay the International Monetary Fund the $1.8 billion it owes on time, paving the way for a formal default.
- At least 30 people were reported dead after a military plane crashed into two houses in a residential neighborhood in the Indonesian city of Medan.
- President Obama has announced a new rule that would expand eligibility for overtime pay to millions more Americans.