The 21 Stages Of Going Back To Work

Christmas is over, we’ve just recovered from our New Year hangovers, the weather is trying to kill us all…and now it’s time to go back to work. Joy.

1. First your alarm goes off at a cruel and unnatural hour.

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Nope.

2. And you’re so tired you can’t even eat your breakfast.

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3. Then you step outside, where it’s cold and wet and prepare to make the journey in.

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4. You at least manage to make it in on time, despite some minor delays.

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5. Oh, scrap that. You’re actually 23 minutes late and your boss is NOT happy.

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6. And your morning only gets worse as you remember you’ve banned caffeine as part of your New Year detox.

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7. At least you’re welcomed warmly by smelly Stuart from accounts. Who you snogged at the office party.

8. It’s time to crack down, so you resume your position at your desk.

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But even sitting seems like too much hard work.

9. And you look at your work emails for the first time in what seems like forever.

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Delete.

10. Your colleagues notice you’re a little more… touchy than usual.

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11. But at least everyone’s brought in their leftover Christmas junk food for you to snack on!

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Covers every important food group - delicious, yummy and nom.

12. But oh, wait. You forgot. You’re not supposed to be eating that kind of stuff any more because chocolate is the ENEMY.

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13. Not that there’s any time for snacking - you have a load of meetings to go to.

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14. Then after all that scribbling and nodding you’re definitely ready for lunch.

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15. Then it feels like the afternoon is just basically this.

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And you’re not Mario.

16. And you’re just waiting for the clock to hurry up so you can go home.

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17. It’s 5pm! You can’t wait to get out that door and back home to bed.

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18. But wait… your work wife is asking if you want to go for a ‘quick drink’ to catch up

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19. Technically you’re supposed to be having a break from booze. But one won’t hurt, right?

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Yeah, just one.

20. Hours later, you’re exactly where you were before the Christmas holidays again.

Drowning in your own shame.

21. Then you have to do it all over again the next day…

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Happy January!

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