What It’s Like Dating As A Femme Lesbian

“Wait, you’re gay?”

1. So you’re finding out that you’re a queer girl who also happens to be feminine.

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Portia de Rossi, Amber Heard, and Raven-Symoné

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But for some reason, this isn’t so easy for everyone else to understand.

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2. When you come out to people, they genuinely think you’re kidding.

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3. And when you convince them you’re telling the truth, they’re like, “But guys like you so much!”

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4. You start to hit the bars to find a girlfriend, but guys are constantly hitting on you.

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5. Even if you’re into guys too, straight dudes who hit on girls in lesbian bars are undoubtedly terrible.

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6. And all of the girls ignore you because they think you’re straight too.

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So you decide to change your look so you come across as “more gay.”

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7. You try dying your hair to look more “edgy”:

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But then you’re deemed “unprofessional.”

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8. You think maybe you should cut off your hair and go for a more “soft butch” look:

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But you’ll miss the braids! And it’s so cold!

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9. Maybe you should be super SUPER feminine all the time.

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But then you feel like you’re never allowed to just wear jeans and a T-shirt.

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10. But no matter how you dress, guys keep telling you it’s a “waste” that you’re not into them.

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And you’re still not getting hit on by girls, so you decide to just go for it and make the first move.

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11. Which is seriously awkward, because, let’s face it, you’ve never learned how to hit on someone.

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12. When you do finally establish contact, here comes the assumption that you’re just “experimenting.”

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13. And, of course, you’re told that you can’t be politically involved in the queer community because you’re too conforming.

Believe me, it’s pretty transgressive to be feminine AND strong.

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14. When you do finally get a girlfriend, everyone expects her to be butch.

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15. And people are still constantly asking you why you dress that way if you’re into girls.


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The answer will literally always be “I do it because I want to.”

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16. That should be a good enough answer for anyone important, including yourself.

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You keep on doing what you do, girl.

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