2. Exhibit A: Hi, I am a tiny adorable armadillo!
My eye sight is pretty bad, so I am not sure how cute a baby fox is. I have heard they are a little scary. I am good at swimming, protecting myself, and providing joy to anyone who gets to interact with me. Plus, when I am a baby, you can hold me in your hand! Obviously you should vote armadillos! -Lili Salzberg
3. Exhibit A: Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there! I was just busy being cute with my pals.
Word around the woods is the armadillos are saying some mean things about us. I mean do we look scary to you? We’re from a really close-knit adorable family of fuzzy cuteness. We like to run around and act silly. Kinda like those puppies that you keep in your house! So you should definitely vote for foxes! -Matt Kiebus
6. Exhibit B: Look how cute I am when I take a bath!!
Shake, shake, shake! I love water! Did you know that I can hold my breath for 4 to 6 minutes under water?
7. Exhibit B: Watch me get stuck in the snow!
8. Exhibit C: Do you want to go on vacation with me?
Please? I am great at crossing streams and rivers! If we ever left our cooler full of beer on the other side of the river, I would be more then happy to go get it for you!
9. Exhibit C: I’ll make your ex jealous. Seriously, look how ridiculously good looking I am!
10. Exhibit D: I am GREAT at protecting myself!
I am pretty much a magician!
11. Exhibit D: Disney made a movie about me!
And Disney is basically the kings of cuteness.
12. Cute animals like me need to be protected from mean foxes!
13. Why would they eat other animals…
I hope they don’t come for me!
15. We wouldn’t hurt a fly!
Look at me giving my sister a kiss on the cheek!
16. Our mom raised us right!
Notice how I haven’t made fun of my armadillo friend?
18. Exhibit E: When I get a little bigger, you can take me for a walk!
I love walks! And I love you! Do you really think that a mean fox would go on a walk with you?
19. He does NOT want to go on a walk!
20. That’s because we like to run!
Look how graceful we are.
21. Exhibit E: Check out how freakin’ adorable we are when we’re sleepy!
24. Exhibit F: Did you forget how cute I am as a baby?
26. You don’t want to get me started on being a cute baby!
27. Exhibit F: When’s the last time an armadillo give you a high-five?
Because we do this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME.
28. Some people say I look like a dinosaur, which is ok with me because they are pretty cool!
29. Dinosours? We look like puppies! What’s cuter than a puppy? Oh wait, US!
30. Exhibit G: Some of my human friends said you might not vote for me….
31. They said we could go out for a few beers win or lose.
I have the best friends! But I really do hope that we will be celebrating!
32. I hope we go to my favorite watering hole!
33. Exhibit G: I have an excellent sense of humor!
My dog friend didn’t even know I was there!
34. Exhibit H: Just remember, if you do vote for me! I will run and play!
35. And have the very best day!
Did you know we also like to make rhymes?