14 Undeniable Signs You’re A Lifeguard

Savin’ lives. Erry day.

1. You’ve been clobbered by one of these.

Ten points if you can toss it around your partner’s neck!

ID: 3631013

2. You long for the chance to try out the AED.

Mostly so you can use the extra defibrillator pad to rip off someone’s chest hair.

ID: 3631037

3. You know at least three ways of doing CPR.

Is it 15 compressions to two respirations? Or the other way around…?

ID: 3631040

4. You understand the pain of guarding early-morning lap swim.

What kind of masochist thinks 5 a.m. is an appropriate time to go swimming? The sun isn’t even awake yet, people.

ID: 3631068

5. Your keychain sports one of these babies.

Only use it if something’s actually happening.

ID: 3631080

6. You know about everyone’s “hidden” tattoos.

There’s only so much a swimsuit will hide.

ID: 3631106

7. You sometimes accidentally enforce pool rules in your outside life.


ID: 3631123

8. You know waaayyy more about the lives of swimmers than they realize.

Oh hey there. Yup, that’s me here, overhearing every word you’re saying.

ID: 3631150

9. That awkward moment when you run into a pool regular at the grocery store.

The Weinstein Company

“Um, wow, look who it is! Uhh…nice to see you…clothed?”

ID: 3631166

10. You’ve witnessed more crack than a tenured plumber.

Warner Bros.
ID: 3631171

11. There are days when your only prayer is that someone will poop in the pool.

Preschool field trip day? God is listening.

ID: 3631180

12. You’ve seen an impressive amount of creativity when it comes to swimming strokes.

Fox / giphy.com

Is that supposed to be breaststroke, or back crawl? Because pretty sure it’s neither.

ID: 3631228

13. You cry inside when your friends ask you to hang out with them at the pool.

Fox / giphy.com

It’s like going to work without getting paid.

ID: 3631240

14. But despite it all, deep down you’re super proud of being a lifeguard.

Creatas Images / thinkstockphotos.com

“My official title is Professional Rescuer.” BEAT THAT, BURGER-FLIPPERS!

ID: 3631261

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