1. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING stands between you and hummus.
2. You’d sooner cut off your left arm than part ways with your phone.
3. This is the meltdown of your dreams. (Also, your idea of letting loose)
4. Your blatant use of sarcasm often puts others at a loss for words.
5. You are NOT one of those fucking weirdos that celebrates three-month-aversaries.
7. Some things (like patience) are a virtue and are to be used sparingly.
8. You’re always putting the safety of others first.
Excluding like, one or two people.