This Valley Girl Contest From 1982 May Make You Lose Your Faith In America

Like, oh my god!

Here’s a contest that took place in the San Fernando Valley in 1982, documented by the show Real People, hosted by none other than Fred Willard (weird!). Held at the mall (where else?) each val girl got up in front of an audience and panel of judges to convince them that she was the most air-headed, um, I mean, awesome, of all. The scary thing is that everyone seems to be taking it really, really seriously…

2. One of the judges says this…

The girls are so sophisticated, when they go to the 7-11, they ask for the Slurpee list. They’re that uptown.

3. Another judge of the contest was Moon Unit Zappa, Frank Zappa’s daughter, who gained recognition for being the ultimate valley girl by offering val-speak spoken word on her father’s track, “Valley Girl.”

4. This is the original Frank Zappa song, “Valley Girl.”

The movie, Valley Girl, starring Nicolas Cage, would come out a year later, in 1983. (P.S. did you hear they are doing a musical re-make of Valley Girl?! Bitchin’.)

5. Watch the entire Valley Girl contest here. And be thankful that we are no longer this stupid:

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