23 Things Disney Movies Gave Girls Unrealistic Expectations About

Still waiting for my seashell bra.

1. That you could bathe in any room.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Just more mess for you, Cinderella. And what, you don’t even have to towel dry your hair or take it out of a bun? I’m so confused.

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2. That you could create a flower crown this easily and it’d look perfectly uniform.

Disney / Via wordpress.com

Not even Coachella flower crowns look like that.

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3. That you could make a bra out of seashells.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

A) This just doesn’t work. B) Your mother would have thrown a fit. C) Your dad would have cried.

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4. That you could make out without smudging your lipstick.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Where was Snow White keeping her stash of Revlon color-stay lipstick? Huh?

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5. That you wouldn’t think twice about a man with a ponytail.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

I suppose Belle would be very happy living in the era of the Man Bun.

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6. That your hair would actually look good blowing in the wind.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

I don’t think sooOOoooOOooooO.

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7. That a trip to the shoe store would always be this elegant.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

If only we all had size 3 feet. Damn you, CINDY!

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8. That you could meet a boy like this and it’d be romantic.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Not at all rapey. Not one bit.

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9. That your hair could exist as one uniform-seeming piece.

See how it all moves together? But how? What products are you using, Alice? Caterpillar serum?

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10. And that you could style your bangs so that they all fall in one piece, too.

Disney / Via tumblr.com


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11. That this is what you wore when you were poor.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Now on sale at Urban.

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12. That you could use pools of water as mirrors.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Tried it. Nope. Doesn’t work.

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Seriously. DOESN’T WORK.

Disney / Via tumblr.com
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Stoppp itttt pllllleeeeeaaase.


Cuz I still really want water mirrors in my house.

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13. That you could wear earrings that large without getting a headache.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

I can literally feel the pain of my earring hole stretching to the ground.

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14. That you could toooootally cut your own hair.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Tried it. Had to wear pink for a year because people thought I was a boy.

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15. That all dresses would have petticoats under them.

Disney / Via s.likes-media.com

Ugh. I do not have ONE petticoat in my life and I am very bitter about it.
::Googles “petticoat stores los angeles”::

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16. That your hair would grow down to your butt.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

I mean, maybe with time. But it definitely wouldn’t be as thick as Princess Jasmine’s. Bitch.

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17. That you would always feel this sexy and beautiful when admiring yourself in the mirror.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

You gotta hand it to Tink: Girl has unreal confidence.

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18. That you could wear a mini-skirt on a windy day and not worry about it blowing up and showing your panties to the world.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

I mean, really, Pocahontas.

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19. That eyebrows were just naturally this thin.

Disney / Via puppsfreestuff.com

Threading? Waxing? Plucking? There’s gotta be a beauty salon in that little town of yours.

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20. That you could perfectly remove ALL of your makeup from EXACTLY half your face with your sleeve.

Disney / Via tumblr.com


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21. That friendship would always come before romance.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

More like, whoops, we already boned. Now we r friendz?

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22. That your free time would look like this.


Although, now, come to think of it, sitting around in a lagoon all day waiting for Peter Pan (of all boys!) to come talk to you … seems pretty lame.

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23. That a fork (erm, “Dinglehopper”) could be used in place of a hairbrush.

Disney / Via tumblr.com

Otherwise known as: Failed Disney life hack #271.

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