1. Steve Madden platform sandals with that stretchy vamp.
2. John Fluevog’s “Munster” shoe. Why entrusting your feet into the care of someone named “Fluevog” is beyond me.
5. Leopard platform sandals. Did you also use those furry pens? You did, didn’t you?
6. Sketchers: the worst. SO UGLYYYYAHAHHAHAHAFKDHJWLKDJF:WLEJFOW:EFIJWOEIJ.
7. Adidas unisex sport sandals. If you were a cool boy, you’d wear them with socks. All through the winter.
8. Slam your body down! (Just count on spraining your ankle.)
13. Airwalk made these shiny sneaks, and the red ones had hologram sparkles in them.
17. Remember these Chinese-inspired Mary Janes that offered guaranteed pain thanks to no arch support?
18. Jelly high heels. Awesome at the time. Kind of embarrassing when they made a “comeback.” Please no more comebacks.
21. Keds. A standard. Except did you ever wear two different ones on each foot? You did? Oooh, you rebel.
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