17 Signs You Are A Health Nut In A Lazy Person’s Body

If you say “kale” enough, maybe people will think you eat it. posted on

1. Every few weeks or months, you make yourself a promise: You’re going to start REALLY taking care of yourself…

But your detailed plans for your new, healthy life can be a bit confusing.

2. In your excitement, you might download a bunch of cool health apps to make sure you meet that goal…

But those fitness apps were the first to go when you needed to make room for Candy Crush.

3. You’ve tried just about every fitness craze…

But after about two weeks you tend to find something wrong with it, so clearly you have to stop.

4. You’ll have something like pizza for breakfast…

But “make up” for it by Instagramming something undeniably healthy.

5. You’ll sign up for a juice cleanse…

But rewrite the rules.

6. You will display a piece of exercise equipment quite conspicuously in your home…

But have a different use for it in private.

7. The only Foursquare check-ins you make anymore are when you go to your local gym/yoga studio/spin class…

Even when you’re not exactly there? Walking by counts…

8. You’ve been “saving up” for a Vitamix for a really, really long time…

But this supposed “savings plan” doesn’t really exist.

9. You have fits of paranoia about all the “evil toxins” in your body…

But somehow forget about this a few hours later once you’re hungry.

10. You think that squeezing in this little bit of extra exercise will change your life…

Until you discover your own genius, infinitely better (read: easier) thing.

11. You are a vegan.

You are sometimes a vegan.

12. You’ve purchased several Living Social fitness deals…

But “saved” them for the “right time”…which is past their expiration date. Oops.

13. One of your favorite weekend activities is loading up on fresh veggies at the farmers market…

But let’s be honest about your real feelings on kale.

14. You’ve made the noble effort to give up your coffee for green tea…

But then Google “benefits of coffee” a few days later to justify taking it back.

But forget to actually read it.

16. You have a Pinterest board called Healthy Recipes…

Filled only with gluten-free cakes.

17. You attempt — yet again — to run a marathon.

You do not actually run said marathon.

But you wanted to. Which means at least your thoughts are healthy.

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