1. Alice in Wonderland
If I was a different person yesterday, that means I will be a different person tomorrow, so who am I now? Cue internal meltdown.
2. The Little Mermaid
Tru dat, Sebastian. Tru. Dat.
3. Beauty and the Beast
This is like the answer to Gertrude Stein’s “There is no there there.”
4. Lady and the Tramp
What is a baby? How is it that you were once one and you are you now? Why are we here? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??
5. Peter Pan
The first time I read this: Um, offensive.
The second time I read this: Well…yeah, probably.
Change: peeps just can’t deal. Like every time there’s a Facebook redesign, my life is over.
So…cowardly, selfish, liars=not real boys? I’m with you there, Blue Fairy Lady.
There’s nothing left to fear but fear itself. This quote scares the shit out of me.
We are but imperfect beings. And yet we are equipped with all we need for perfection. Which is why you still put up those photos on Facebook of you and a hot new guy to make your stupid ex jealous.
11. Alice in Wonderland
cc: Your stupid ex.
Live in the now. Because you can never get today back, except for in memory. Which kind of means that what is happening this very second is over already. Is any of this real??? Neo?
13. Snow White
Powerful stuff for old people. Which you now realize you are. Aw, shit.
14. Winnie the Pooh
If we tell ourselves something, do we then believe it? Can one be both be the teller and the tellee? Are we in fact two beings in one?
15. Lady and the Tramp
To make space, one must first let go.
- Turkey's military released an audio recording of what it says were warnings to the Russian warplane before it was downed near Syria's border. ›
- Protesters marched in Chicago for the second night in a row after the release of a video showing the police shooting of black teen Laquan McDonald. ›
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›