Mr. T’s 1984 Fashion Show Is Way Better Than Any Fashion Week

“Everybody gotta wear clothes. And if you don’t, you can get arrested.”

Here’s an excerpt from Mr. T’s video, Be Somebody… or Be Somebody’s Fool!, in which he shows teens how to motivate, deal with haters, and generally be awesome. Oh, and how to look super fly, too.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=InNdEWXWtsA.

2. Look #1: Zena & Xena, Stop ‘N Shop Princesses

For those “exciting walks to the grocery store,” make sure you have a cool sarong and at least 20 belts on. Oh, and don’t forget that classic socks-with-sandals look!

3. Look #2: Subway Marta

Everybody who is cool takes the subway. Get noticed in a shirt you spray-painted yourself and some gym socks you made into a scarf. Says Mr. T, “With her mussed up socks and ketchup stash, she’s a real hot dog.” ‘Cause hot chicks always be carrying ketchup, y’know what I’m saying?

4. Look #3: Jumping Jeff Flash

“He’s the ’80s nod to fitness splendor. Stay cool, Jeff.” No further comment.

5. JEFF.

6. Look #4: Athena, The Melting Pot

LIVING. UNITED. NATIONS.

7. Look #5: Sweaty Kelly

This jogging outfit is “perfect for stopping traffic and startin’…who knows what!” But, oh do you know what: jogging. (And if we’re being really honest here: hooking up.)

8. Look #6: Manny, The Jewish B-Boy

Manny’s so cool in his baggy pants, neckerchief, and striped top, the winning combo even gives him magic chair-jumping powers! As Mr. T puts it: “Manny’s wearing the B-Boy look. B for breakin’ and boy do that look tough.”

9. Look #7: Jazzy Janine

Janine wears pink on allll the Wednesdays.