First Lady Bess Truman’s Guide To Wearing Silly Hats

Harry Truman’s woman knew how to sport those upside-down bowl things.

3. Make your girls wear them, too. If you don’t have a hat, you can’t sit with us.

4. Put a whole mess of ribbons on that shit.

5. Make your hat look like a giant pencil shaving.

7. If you can’t put a bird on it, at least put on a feather.

8. Have your hat take the shape of a frowny-face.

10. Small hats are good.

11. But too-small hats are just unreasonable.

Patrick McElhenney/__username__

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