Let us explore Eminem’s 2000 rap music hit, “The Real Slim Shady.” It is perhaps more mindfucky than you thought.
2. We open in a hospital of sorts. Kathy Griffin has done some Harry Potter magic so that when she speaks, it is Eminem’s voice. She asks the crowd, “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?”
Because Kathy has adopted a component of the entity that we understand to be “the real Slim Shady,” we therefore cannot rule her out as the true Shady.
3. But, assuming Kathy is Kathy, we glean that she cannot distinguish the “real” from the “fake” Shady in this crowd. They are all potentials.
4. However Eminem, the Shady we believe to be real, does not obey her call. He remains sitting while everyone else stands. Is he thereby renouncing his realness?
5. Next, a lot of nonsense created with a rap-themed Magnetic Poetry kit. We can skip this part.
6. Here, Eminem comes to the hook, informing us, “I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating…”
Here, Eminem acknowledges the existence of other “Shadys,” yet questions their authenticity.
7. And yet in a room full of these alleged Shadys (who are all standing), Eminem still implores the “real” Slim Shady to please stand up.
Thereby implying an impossible scenario — if Eminem calls himself the real Slim Shady, then asks, nay, searches for the REAL Slim Shady — another person— he denies his own realness.
8. Consider these lyrics. Eminem first implies he is separate from the crowd of fakers, but then identifies as one among them — “there’s a million of us.”
9. However, we have a hint as to how to identify the real Shady — his future. The real Slim Shady will be jerking off in the nursing home.
10. The fakers may be identified by different destinies (see below), however keep in mind that this image shows us the alleged real Slim Shady portraying a fake Slim who believes he is a real Slim.
He could be working at Burger King, spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling
Screaming “I don’t give a fuck”
With his windows down and his system up
12. Are we seriously back here again? With all the people standing up? Is this a cult or something?
Also, just because Eminem is standing on a platform higher than the rest doesn’t mean you can re-define the word “standing.”
13. In Eminem’s sign-off to the song, he says this:
If there is a “Slim Shady in all of us” then Eminem implies the possibility that this elusive real Slim Shady existed even before Eminem claimed ownership of the title. So, basically…everyone is REAL AND FAKE at the same time.
This is either the key to understanding humanity or complete nonsense. You may now be excused to go have your existential meltdown.