Can We Just Talk About How Insane The "It’s Raining Men" Video Was?

Hallelujah! posted on

1. In 1982, the Weather Girls put out their dance hit, “It’s Raining Men.” The song is about it “raining men” — figuratively. (One must assume.)

2. The video, however, is about it raining men. Literally. The video begins in this very high-tech news room.

3. True to the forecast predicted by the Weather Girls, it is indeed raining men. They confirm this by looking out the window.

4. But then something terrible happens. They fall out the window, which was clearly never doing its job as a window.

5. Oh sheeeiiit. Still falling.

6. And here’s where we land. In a cardboard city where shirtless giants pop out from buildings, wearing the uniform of an experienced flasher.

7. The Speedo-clad men engage in some sort of ritual surrounding a mysterious window on one of the cardboard buildings.

8. Cut to: Heaven. Are we dead? Perhaps. But just FYI, angels are RIPPED.

9. Back to that mysterious window…where we find Martha Wash (one half of the Weather Girls duo) lounging on a bed. How did she get in that tiny building? Is this like Honey, I Shrunk the Pop Singer?

10. As she’s belting out the chorus, she turns into a version of Windows Solitaire circa 1997.

11. Oh my god, a raining man is about to squash her. This actually seems like kind of an unlucky day.

12. Except then there’s an orgy. Nice work, ladies.

13. And now it’s the time in the video when someone slowly turns around, revealing their best creepy eyes. And what is in your hair? What is going on???

14. It is now a torrential downpour of trenchcoated males. Funnily enough, they carry umbrellas. Is this to protect from actual rain? Or from other fellow raining men?

15. Little matter! Life in this video is like being at a Chippendale’s on crack.

16. And that seems to be just fine to the people who live in Cardboard Land. Just fine, indeed.

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