We are Kristin and Leo and sometimes we like to talk about fashion.
Leo: What in the literal fuck. I don't know what's most offensive about these. The sequins? The ripped holes? Or the saggy ass in the back.
Kristin: I don't trust sequins. They're the evil cousin of glitter. Like, sure, they don't come out and say they're going to get all over your carpet and stay there forever, they just do it behind your back.
Leo: My grandma had a fridge this color.
Kristin: You know those dressing rooms that are covered by a curtain that doesn't close all the way? That's what this dress feels like.
Kristin: Finally, maternity wear for the 1920s-era prisoner.
Leo: Or it's the nightgown Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka wore.
Kristin: Jesus Helen Christ, that is exactly what that is.
Leo: No abominable snowmen were harmed in the making of these shoes...I hope.
Kristin: This is my summer sandals toe hair nightmare.
Leo: I could see these being strangely practical in L.A. winters.
Kristin: I've always thought the old pennies that get stuck in your car's cupholders were very beautiful.
Leo: Mmm hmm. Statue of Liberty green. Very hot right now.
14. Rave Poncho, $10
Leo: Is it just me or does this look like paper?
Kristin: This looks like a thing that gets stuck in car doors a lot.
Leo: I wonder if it smells like warm copies after it gets back from the dry cleaners.
Leo: Ribbing should be restricted to wifebeaters and turtlenecks. From the '90s.
Kristin: This is ribbed for no one's pleasure.
Kristin: "Hello, do you happen to have a pair of pants that I am still required to shave my legs in order to wear?"
Leo: Nope. Bye.
Kristin: Actually, informal poll: Do you still have to shave your legs to wear this? I genuinely do not know.
Leo: WHAAA WHYYY. Scary Spice could wear these. Only Scary Spice.
Kristin: I feel like every cool store contains one item that looks shitty on everyone...just to keep people in their place. Like, we can't have anyone feeling good about themselves 100% of the time.