If you’re in the market for a five pound gummy bear, you might want to read these Amazon reviews first…
1. Can and should be used as a method of self-defense.
2. This person clearly pissed off the reviewer above.
3. The bigger ones taste better.
4. This person is probably dead by now.
5. Not quite sure why giant gummy bears would be necessary for “the Mayan Doomsday.”
6. Giant gummy bears apparently cure depression.
7. At least one person’s definition of a good time.
8. Oh good lord, people.
9. See, this is confusing. This “Lord Dahak” gives the product a 5-star review…but doesn’t seem completely satisfied.
10. Also suitable for dogs.
11. This unsatisfied customer has resolved to create his own gummy bear out of horse poop and cat butt. Inventive.
12. This is getting quite dark.
13. And creepy.
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