1. Thou shalt dye one's hair to resemble that of a skunk.
2. Thou shalt straighten one's hair with the Holy Sapphire Flat Iron.
3. Thou shalt wear copious amounts of BADgal eyeliner on both thy upper and lower eyelids.
4. Honor thy father and thy mother and thy Conair braiding machine.
5. Thou shalt adorn thyself in the shimmers of Tony & Tina.
6. Thou shalt try bangs at least once before 2005. And thou shalt regret it.
7. Thou shalt spritz thyself generously each morning with JLo Glow.
8. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's pink Chanel lip gloss.
9. Thou shalt tweeze. And tweeze. And tweeze.
10. Thou shalt spritz thyself with the ceremonial body sprays of Victoria's Secret.
11. Honor thy feathered hair, and maketh that flip look mad dope.
12. Thou shalt familiarize thyself with all the various shades of green.
13. Thou shalt adorn thy hair with clips, fashioned from the wings of butterflies.
14. Thou shalt never blow dry one's hair without shampooing with Thermasilk.
15. Thou shalt emulate the Mighty Marisa Cooper's beach waves with products of the sacred John Frieda.
16. Thou shalt pierce thy tongue and anger thy mother.
17. And finally, thou shalt create a false sun with thy Holy Spray Tan.
