1. In 1990, a 16-year-old Leonardo appeared as a celebrity contestant on the game show Fun House.
He was known back then for his role as Garry Buckman on Parenthood. Look at that smile as he joins the Gold Team.
2. The other celeb contestant was Danny Pintauro from Who’s the Boss. Whatever, Red Team.
3. For the first competition, the boys don superhero shirts with large F’s on them. Their partners must then throw “schmutz boms,” aiming to explode on their chests.
Unfortunately, the Red Team wins this round. It’s OK, Leo. You’ll get ‘em next time.
4. For the next stunt, the boys are suspended from their L.A. Gear shoes (yes) and must transfer plastic fish to the box using only their mouths.
5. Success! Gold Team outnumbers Red. Behold, a triumphant Leo.
6. Mess. That. Hair. UP.
7. Next up, something called “the four-headed sewer sludge snake” in which all four contestants’ ankles are bound together and they must pass balls mouth-to-mouth. Oh HELL yes.
Unfortunately, the Stupid Red team wins this round, too. Fuck you, Red Team.