A Tribute To Your Teen Fantasy, Ethan Embry

The guy from Can’t Hardly Wait was the perfect combination of nerd, sweetheart, and, oh yeah: HOT.

1. Ethan Embry (he went by Ethan Randall for a while) got his start in acting at a very early age.

Here he is around age 9 or 10 in a Fox Kids’ commercial to promote self-image or something? He plays a boy who watches the girl of his dreams move in next door and he imagines all the ways to get her attention, until he does by just being himself. Good advice.

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2. In 1991, he had a small role as Albert Brooks’ childhood friend in Defending Your Life.

I don’t know why people seem not to care about this movie. It is one of the best movies ever. And now better that I know Ethan Embry was in it.

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3. Yes, the resemblance to Harry Potter is indeed striking here, but it’s in fact Ethan in a pinup promoting the movie Dutch.

But is it magic? Oh yes.

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4. Also in 1991, Ethan was in a Christmas movie with Thora Birch. You can begin to see the swagger developing…

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5. And there it is. 1995. A beautiful year in which Ethan played the adorable “Mark” in Empire Records.

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6. A greasy head of hair and a thermal shirt? Every ’90s girl’s dream.

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7. Ethan then played “The Bass Player” (the name given to the character) in That Thing You Do.

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8. But it was this movie that really put him on your radar, when he played Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sheepish but kind and cute love interest.

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9. And it was in that final scene, when you think they’re never going to see each other again, that Ethan drops his bags…

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11. At that point, you were like, “OK, seriously, who is this guy?” And you went onto the World Wide Web and maybe found an awesome Anglefire fansite. It might still be up today.

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12. And then he started appearing in all the teen magazines.

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14. The adorable goofball! Just knock it off, will ya? Can’t take the cute.

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15. Ohhh the glasses. Did you also start developing a thing for guys with glasses around this time?

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16. Remember how you would tear out all the articles and pictures you could find? Maybe you hung a few in your locker.

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17. Especially the sexy ones. Is it getting hot in here?

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18. OK, he’s wearing toe nail polish in this one? That is so cool.

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19. Except then you found out he was married and had a kid?! Your dreams were crushed.

According to Wikipedia, Embry got married for the first time in 1998, when he was only 20. His son was born in 1999. He has since had a few shake-ups, but is maybe single now???

Sebastian Artz / Getty Images
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20. Here’s a random picture of our heartthrob in 2002 with his buddy, Dave Navarro.

David Klein / Getty Images
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21. Since then, Ethan’s been working steadily in TV.

His most notable recent roles have been Declan Giggs on Brotherhood, and he’s also been on the new ABC series, Once Upon A Time.

Stephen Shugerman / Getty Images
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22. But, uh, the thing you REALLY need to know is that Ethan Embry is on Vine and he has some AMAZING videos.

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