If you were around in the early- to mid-’90s, you know that the Japanese anime cartoon, Sailor Moon, had a lot going for it — girls with magic powers; really cute outfits; and all the best words like “princess,” “moon,” “crystal,” “heart,” and “tuxedo.” So, who was Sailor Moon? She said it herself most episodes: “I am Sailor Moon. The champion of justice. And I say on behalf of the moon, I shall right wrongs and triumph over evil and that means you!”
Of course, we know it’s a bit more complicated than that…
Meet Serena Tsukino, a young teen who is really bad at math and kind of an airhead. Like most works of cinematic genius, this is the person who must save the world. Next to Serena is her friend Molly who has a very heavy Brooklyn accent for a Japanese schoolgirl.
This is Luna, a talking cat who reveals to Serena her hidden identity and acts as a spirit guide. She is wise and knows all the things.
So, basically, the world is going to end pretty much every day thanks to this bitch (and a bunch of other villains down the line). Sailor Moon’s mission is to destroy this space skank and find the Moon Princess.
“Moon Prism Power!” So Serena can turn into Sailor Moon Frye in what is the prettiest, most awesome cartoon transformation sequence that has ever been.
In the first Sailor Moon series, she has four Moon Scout friends (also normal girls who transform) who help out on missions. They are…
Sailor Mars: Red uniform, Soldier of Fire and Passion, has a cool magic fireball thing going on.
Sailor Mercury: Blue uniform, Soldier of Justice and Wisdom, can do cool stuff with water like create waves to wipe out enemies or send freezing bubbles at attackers.
Sailor Venus: Orange uniform, Soldier of Love and Beauty, uses these mysterious balls of light to defeat villains.
Sailor Jupiter: Green uniform, Soldier of Thunder and Courage, tends to call upon the forces of lighting and thunder to vanquish evil. NBD.
Then there’s this guy: Japanese Abraham Lincoln. Actually, his name is Tuxedo Mask, which wouldn’t sound so weird if it were Mr. Tuxedo Mask or Tuxedo Mask Man, but just kind of sounds like two rando nouns put together. Like Pencil Cup. Or Shoe Ball. Or Window Butt. Anyhow, as we can all see, he’s mad hot, so Sailor Moon’s got a huge crush on him. He watches out for her and lends a hand in fighting evil space See You Next Tuesdays.
But back to Sailor Moon, because she’s the coolest. She has a magic tiara that turns into a glowing frisbee of destruction.
But what really made her awesome: the neat space ballet she did in the credits and her hair, which was like a beautiful dancing ribbon.
She looks the most badass when she draws this perfect circle of light. She’d win any circle drawing competition.
Sometimes, she used magic tools — like a pen that can transform you into a beautiful talent agent! — in her crusade against the crazies.
One of her signature things was to do this series of tai chi/sign language/air traffic control hand motions. What did it mean? Or was she just stretching? The person who knows the answer will get a special Cosmic Crystal Moon Power prize. (You can claim it here.)
And finally, Sailor Moon wisdom to live by:
Fighting evil by moonlight,
Winning love by daylight,
Never running from a real fight,
She is the one named Sailor Moon