For one of Sassy’s “Dear Boy” columns, editors commissioned J Mascis of the ’90s alt rock band Dinosaur Jr. to answer teens’ boy/dating/sex/love questions.
And as a “depressed young man who is extremely hard to reach by phone or get a straight answer from,” he’s clearly qualified to speak on matters of love. Scroll down to examine each question in depth.
1. Q: What’s with boys and commitment?
A: Fuck commitment. It’s a losing battle.
2. Q: My boyfriend is in jail omg what do I doooo?
A: Like, whatever. If you wanna be with him, be with him.
3. Q: Do boys like it when girls ask them out?
A: Like, maybe. Whatever.
4. Q: What do I buy for my guy?
5. Q: Do boys like big butts?
A: Um. YES.
6. Q: I’m 16 and I don’t like sex whyyyyyyy?
A: I dunno. Whatever.
7. Q: My date to the dance dumped me for another chick.
A: Fuck that fucker.
8. Q: How do you know when a boy likes you?
A: Is he a total fucking psycho? He likes you. Just, like, be cool, whatever.